All this description and no photo? Really? To make up for it, you could always bring me a sample tonight when you fly home. ;)
In this particular instance, I'd say the best thing you could do is get your exercise by racing to the cupcake as quickly as you can. Don't drink any water first - you'll want more room in your stomach so the cupcake can be absorbed into your system as soon as possible. Efficient AND delicious!
Pursuing my dreams, living on faith, and I don't think Crocs are ugly.